Push Push Push…

You want to be loved and complain about how lonely you are. And then you push someone away that cares for you. What sense does that make?

Every time a man walks into my life he is the same person. His face is different, his body and his name, and likes and dislikes… all different… But he is the same unappreciative, and emotionally unavailable bastard he always turns out to be, and he always brings along the same bullshit with him. And he always comes back too late, and gives too little. And this time… upon coming back.. he’s pushed too far. I deserve better than that, and I’m finally gonna be done with bullshit until I allow myself to have better.

Or will I? Will I continue to date men who just seem to not be able to either figure out what they want… or let themselves have it… or if they know what it is, and it aint you, possibly have corresponding actions…

A straight woman said to a lesbian who had a crush on her, that it was self hating cruelty, to fall in love with someone unavailable to her. Then why doesn’t the straight girl follow her own advice, and date a man that would return the affection she gives him?

Maybe I should stop speaking metaphorically and realize if I were important to YOU… I wouldn’t have to tell you I want to be important to you. You say I am… but if I were, you wouldn’t need to say it, you’d show it, and then I would just BE in your life, instead of being your play thing in the shadows.