Have you ever felt like you were different from everyone you knew? like…. you just don’t belong, no matter how hard you try? I feel that way with my family and with my friends. I feel loved, and all… just not like I am really supposed to be there. Sometimes I think its all in my head. But then dating comes along and puts the answer right in front of my face…lol. I am apparently not doing something right, just by being me. Its not one or two dates that have told me this. All I want is someone who is honest, and caring, and if he were funny it would be awesome.. but wanting someone with those qualities (and the basics… job, not abusive, has car and valid id) to love me, seems impossible.

I personally don’t get it. Maybe I’m biased. I mean… I like me. Why shouldn’t everyone else like me? For everything that I am… I’m smart, funny and even tho I’m a big girl, I think I am very attractive. (And not at all vain, as you can tell..lol)

I have started to give up on dating. I have decided to focus on me. And lose some weight. I might just broaden my options that way, and who knows.. maybe the old adage about it coming when you least expect it will work for me.